Peace tiles
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Stop Still for Peace – please join us

Established by the United Nations in 1981, the International Day of Peace is observed each year on 21st September. With the onset of spring which always promises a sense of optimism, let’s remember September as the month to pause and review life as we know it.

As I write this in Melbourne, we are experiencing the first of our best spring days. My garden is overflowing with new green growth, the sky is blue and magpies, nesting in nearby trees are happily warbling their morning greetings. It is a peaceful morning.

And yet, reading the paper earlier I was dismayed as I often am, to read the flow of bad news stories: mental health issues, suicide, financial distress, infrastructure problems, welfare and financial issues, natural disasters, racism, discrimination and drug related crimes to mention but a few local matters of significance. There is a strong sense that peace is lacking in our community, not to mention the distress that encumbers so much of our wider world.

There is something else. Modern life is busy, with a thrum of activity underpinning each day. Then add to that the level of violence on our roads. Angry words, coarse language, gestures, bullying and aggressive driving, blaring speakers and vehicles speeding out of control. All this speaks loudly of inner turmoil. And, tragically, from levels of individual tension comes loss of life or innocent people seriously injured due to pent up frustration, anger and mismanagement of emotions.

How can we find peace in our home, our city or our world when busy-ness has come to be the ‘normal’ way to live? When almost anything we ‘want’ can be accessed via the mobile phone? When rushing from place to place or becoming ‘stuck’ in queues of traffic has become part of modern living? When families no longer share time together over the evening meal but eat on the run or while watching the news? When modern living itself has lost the means of expressing or enjoying peace? Without time to be, without personal interaction and without an appreciation of life, the challenge for a peaceful world continues.

As violence produces violence, similarly, peace can produce peace. We must value the concept of peace – and promote it more and more. September is one month during which we can remember the importance of recognising what is missing in the modern world and take steps to make a change.

The International Day of Peace on September 21 is a day devoted to the strengthening of the ideals of peace, both within and among all nations and peoples.  As part of a broader initiative called Stop Still for Peace many communities especially in Melbourne and across Australia, will be participating on this day with a range of events.

We will also be taking part by holding our own event on Saturday 21 September at the SMT Centre, by offering 30-minute Stillness sessions starting from 10am until 2pm. These sessions are open to all and we warmly welcome you to make a commitment to peace by joining us in a peaceful observance – for the self, for the community and for our world.

You will find us at 146-148 Harp Road, Kew.  If you can’t physically join us, then please take 30 minutes at home, at the park, by the sea or wherever you wish – to simply stop still for peace.

The practice of being still unquestionably leads to personal peace, a sense of wellbeing, more happiness and, in time, improved health and greater contentment.

Peace begins within –your peace, our peace and ultimately world peace.

Pauline McKinnon
Melbourne, September 2019

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Grief and the power of stillness
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Loss, bereavement, grief and the power of stillness

Loss and its associated grief make for a challenging topic, yet one that we all must face in the course of our lives. Much has been written and researched about the grieving process and while concepts and words may certainly give guidance or support, loss and surrounding grief always remain individual and personal experiences.

While the death of a partner, friend or colleague is most associated with grief, this powerful reaction may occur for numerous reasons involving relationships at many levels – or ill health, injury or financial disaster to name a few. Grief carries a range of emotions, some predictable and others less so. In the process of grieving there are no quick fixes. Healing may come within weeks, months and not uncommonly, many years. It is for these reasons that new clients frequently seek assistance at this Centre. It is for this reason that I find myself lead to share some healing connections.

To touch on this at a very personal level, it is for me the recent loss of my husband of many years that has prompted these reflective thoughts. It has been a challenging and sorrowful time. But I am content in the certainty that he is at peace and there is resolution in this even though of course his presence is irreplaceable and sadness hovers. Within this experience I have been fortunate to have the loving support of family and friends. Most importantly, within this experience I have the gift of resilience through the additional support of my long-term practice of spending time in simply being still.

Not unusually my recent bereavement is one of many such experiences within family and friends over the years. By way of diversity, my earliest recollection of grief came in childhood when our much-loved grey and white kitten, Timmy, disappeared. The last time I saw Timmy he was by our front door, gently teasing moths with his right paw on a mild, maybe summer evening. And he vanished. We searched in every possible way for days, weeks and months, trying to locate just some hint of what could have befallen him. We lived near open spaces and repeatedly we covered every path and possibility – even searching for decaying animal remains in the hope that we could understand what happened to Timmy. Years have passed since then and although I rarely bring that little grief to mind, whenever I do, there is a lingering pain of loss without resolution. If there’s a problem, the soul seeks re-solution.

When Timmy the kitten left us, I had no experience of stillness. I was then a child, sensitive but purpose driven. Much later when my father suddenly died, I was an adult-child, sensitive and bewildered and my grief was comforted in my husband’s arms. Then an avalanche of grief came later, as numerous family deaths punctuated our early years of marriage. In this I kept running for comfort outside of myself, the outcome of which I have described in my book In Stillness Conquer Fear. The extremely high anxiety that plagued me for many years was undoubtedly triggered by repeated loss and too much effort trying to make sense of it all.

At that time and without knowing stillness, my mind was far too occupied, encumbered by over-thinking. But I knew no better. While there is no right or wrong way to grieve, essentially loss and bereavement involve the heart and mind and soul. Nothing makes sense in the pain of grief. The normality of one’s daily comings and goings simply disappears to be replaced by emptiness. And nothing can fill the void: not company, love, sex, drugs or money. Not material goods or distractions. Grief can raise anxiety and depression along with feelings of panic and fear for one’s mental stability. There may come strange feelings of detachment from the real world along with the pain of separation and resultant loneliness. Grieving prompts loss of appetite or conversely, the comfort of over-indulgence. Grieving can feel like recovery from debilitating illness or becoming overwhelmed while rushing blindly into activities such as tidying and cleaning – and of course, utter exhaustion. And while the heart, mind and soul are seeking the solace that keeps slipping through our fingers, there are also practical matters that must be dealt with – matters that require focused attention that at this time, are difficult to access. In grief there is nothing but grief … until, perhaps by desire or happenstance, our spirit gradually awakens to inner peace and newfound awareness. Within awareness, a level of acceptance gently emerges; the symptoms of grief begin to lessen and the process of resolution can begin.

As for myself today, the skills I have learned along the way I confirm again as life necessities – for we never know what waits around the metaphorical corner. A certain spiritual faith I am fortunate to possess, strengthened by reading, reflecting, journal writing, walking, time spent surrounded by nature or within healing spaces. Support also comes from my attraction to art, music, the lightness of humour when appropriate, quiet conversations with family and friends … and lots of hugs that enhance the supreme power of love. Most of all, the practice of stillness within my life for many years is for me the keystone of inner peace that binds all the good together.

Regardless of the cause of grief or the length of the journey, within that time the heart, mind and soul need freedom from encumbrance. The experience of true stillness can provide that because it asks nothing but the practice of effortless rest. To gain that is to access the natural panacea for calming the whole being.

Finally, from loss and grief we can more fully grow. In the process of healing, it’s possible to come to accept that it truly is in the dying of who or what we grieve for that we can learn so much about living. This is no mystery. It is part of the truth of existence: loss and pain and darkness are just as important as all the goodness and joy of day to day life. For without the dark, who can ever truly know the light?

Pauline McKinnon (c)
Melbourne, August 2019

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why write failure résumé Melbourne

Why you should write a failure résumé

It’s not as depressing as it sounds – in fact, it can get your career or relationship back on track.

Almost every working Australian has a résumé tucked away somewhere on their hard drive. Those of us searching for a new job update them routinely, chipping away certain sections and moulding others depending on the job market. For most, however, it’s a document accumulating cyber dust in a distant cloud.

In its traditional structure, your résumé is a synopsis of your accomplishments, achievements, promotions and the job titles, becoming either more impressive, more fulfilling or perhaps even both if you’ve really nailed the brief.

All of which makes the idea of creating a failure résumé somewhat of a contradiction in terms, or even an exercise in masochism, but it’s recently been hailed by experts as a crucial self-help skill.

Psychotherapist Pauline McKinnon, from Melbourne’s Stillness Meditation Therapy Centre, sees failure as being crucial to success when viewed as a tool for growth.

“As soon as we hear the word ‘failure’ we think: ‘Oh my God, it’s a disaster, it’s shameful, it’s a total upheaval of everything,’ and we get a huge stress response. But it’s a universal experience. Everyone’s going to have it and it can seem so unfair. Where you do have some power is in your response,” she says.

Think about what's gone wrong - just trust us. Image: iStock.

Think about what’s gone wrong – just trust us. Image: iStock.Source:BodyAndSoul

Likening failure and success to “two sides of the same coin”, she says: “I think very often as human beings we tend to want to push the failure behind us. We get past it and then we don’t want to think too much about it, but I think it’s a really important thing to take time for reflection.

“Working with our failures helps us to grow in self-understanding, helps us to develop wisdom, helps us to build self-esteem and to develop personal, emotional freedom.”

McKinnon stresses that while it can be way more pleasant to dwell on the victories, it’s the defeats that bring a sense of true learning — but only if you’re willing to keep going into battle and don’t let the failures define you.

Where to start

Before you begin, remind yourself of all you have attained — be it professionally or personally. Acknowledge that you’ve got to where you have because of your skills, chops and adaptability.

Now for the tough part — list the jobs that went to someone else, the work presentations that didn’t score the deal, the debates where your point of view failed to prevail. You can make the list as extensive as you like, but for the sake of your self-esteem and the purposes of the exercise, try to crack double figures. Recall at least 10 instances where someone or something else got the nod.

That is the ‘what’ part of the failure résumé. Now for the ‘why’. Under each of these instances — and this is the important part — list two or three reasons that may have contributed to this event not panning out as you’d hoped. It’s vital to be specific here. Instead of making bold and negative generalised statements about yourself, the focus is on the specific actions you could and should have done differently.

Image: iStock

I’ll give you just one example from my personal cavalcade of flame-outs. Some years back I was invited to pitch some article ideas to the editor of an international magazine who happened to be passing through Australia. Thinking I’d get by on moxy, personality and a cursory glance through the source material, I received a subsequent email that featured the death knell phrase ‘I wish you all the best with your future endeavours’.

I later met the person who got the gig. It turned out that not only had she practised her pitch with more dedication, but also memorised the magazine’s readership figures and analysed the advertiser base.

It was the kick up the pants I needed to start my own failure résumé. As the list grew, certain phrases began repeating. Mainly ‘too little preparation’, ‘lack of rehearsal’, ‘not enough attention to detail’.

For a fairly confident person, these were three particularly bitter pills to swallow. But they echoed through my past like a chorus of disappointment, providing me with an insight into the errors I’m most likely to make in crucial situations. Moreover, it not only provided the opportunity to ask whether I was committing the same mistakes in the here and now, but also gave me an opportunity to remedy them before they had a chance to hinder my future success.

Be brave, share

Some people are even brave enough to post their failure résumés online as a beacon of hope for others. A leader in this movement is Dr Melanie Stefan, a lecturer at The University of Edinburgh’s Medical School. In it, she lists graduate programs she didn’t get into, the degrees she didn’t complete, harsh feedback from an old boss and even the rejections she got after auditioning for several orchestras.

It makes sobering reading, but underscores the irrefutable concept that the pathway to success is rarely travelled in a straight line. It’s full of stumbles, starts, almosts and not-quites.

Another benefit of the failure résumé is that it facilitates the language of disappointment and gives you the ability to express it. This can be a crucial skill as increasing numbers of employers and recruiters move away from asking prospects about the glory days. Instead, the 2019 version focuses on a willingness to acknowledge personal shortcomings and, more importantly, the humility to express what it took to overcome them. Even when it’s along the lines of: “I learnt to better maintain professional boundaries within the management team.” An extreme example, but you get the picture.

Could look at your failures help you... succeed? Image: iStock

Perhaps most valuable is that aside from the insights gained and remedial tips acquired, a failure résumé can also be heartening in a way that your regular CV never will.

“Sometimes I look back on them and see how much I’ve struggled to be where I am. That’s a powerful reminder that I deserve to be here,” says Stefan. “Even people who, on paper, have had extremely successful careers have struggled along the way, and failure is part of a career. Everyone has to go through it if they want to be successful.”

The do’s and don’ts of a failure résumé

  • DO: Acknowledge your successes before you start.
  • DO: Be honest about what went wrong, but keep it specific.
  • DON’T: Focus on the thing that went wrong.
  • DO: Focus on why things went wrong.
  • DON’T: Make broad negative statements about yourself.
  • DO: Check out the failure résumés already online. Just Google the term and you’ll quickly see their uplifting power from those brave enough to publish.

 

by David Smiedt

Published On Body & Soul

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Fear flying Stillness Meditation Therapy Melbourne,

I Tried To Cure My Fear Of Flying with Hypnosis

I wasn’t always scared of flying, I used to travel a lot in my uni days and never had a problem. I even lived in Europe for two years and loved going from country to country.

And then one day, all of a sudden, I was terrified.

It’s difficult to estimate, but it’s believed that between six and 18 percent of the population have a fear of flying. For some, it’s crippling, and means sacrificing all overseas travel.

For others, like me, it makes getting on a plane a really uncomfortable experience.

Captain Ron Nielsen, who runs Fearless Flight in the US, says it can manifest in a number of ways, from the ‘white-knucklers’ “whose death grip on the armrests, literally causes their knuckles to go white”, to the ‘avoiders’, “who will do anything to avoid flying including lying and making up excuses to get out of any family or business travel involving flying.”

However, he says it all comes back to the fear of flying being a form of anxiety disorder.

A pilot’s take on fear

“It’s the brain’s fight-or-flight response run amok,” Captain Ron tells Yahoo Lifestyle, “The underlying issue is control; either lack of or feeling out of control.”

“The myriad of unfamiliar sights, sounds, and sensations during a routine flight serve as constant reminders that the average person really doesn’t understand much of what is normal about a routine flight.

“Add to those triggers the fact that we are wired to anticipate the ‘worst possible scenario’, and you’ve got all the makings for a miserable experience.”

Jet Pilot Preparing for Takeoff
Captain Ron helps people overcome their fear of flying by explaining all the details about how planes work. Photo: Getty

Bad fliers will recognise this as heart palpitations, rapid breathing or sweaty palms, for others it may manifest as a nervous stomach, throbbing head, tingly hands or light-headedness.

However, if we look at the facts, modern day commercial air travel is the safest mode of transport you can engage in.

At any given time thousands of planes are completing safe and uneventful flights, and as an Australian, you’re infinitely more likely to run into misadventure while driving or walking, than you are on an airbus.

I’m acutely aware of all this, and yet, the anxiety is still there.

So I tried hypnosis

While there are certain techniques you can use to cure fear of flying while on a flight, I went down the professional route.

Trained therapists and counsellors can help break down your anxiety, I saw hypnosis specialist and elite business coach, Daniel Tolson, who uses a technique called ‘timeline therapy’ to confront and dissolve fear.

Far from the showmanship of stage hypnotists, there is no quacking involved in this kind of treatment – rather, it’s a session where you’re completely in control of the process and are guided through a timeline of your present, future, past and any past lives (quirky, I know).

To describe one of the processes simply, it involves taking your mind to a place where you feel happy, safe and comfortable, and then bringing those feelings into a present situation where you feel scared.

For example, as you start to feel anxious while on a plane, close your eyes and picture your future self after you’ve arrived safely and successfully at your destination. Once you’re there, notice how you feel in that moment, perhaps you’ve just been reunited with family or friends, or perhaps you’ve settled into a hotel room and are getting a good night’s rest before your holiday begins.

When you’ve locked onto that feeling, bring it back to your current point in time, and hold onto the feeling of your safe and happy future self until the anxiety eases.

Commercial aircraft cabin with rows of seats down the aisle. morning light in the salon of the airliner. economy class
Daniel suggests using the power of your mind to imagine your safe and successful arrival at your destination. Photo: Getty

It takes a bit of practice (and a lot of belief) to do this yourself, and in a session, hypnosis is used to guide you through this process as an immediate way to feel more in control of your fear.

It’s all about control

A perceived lack of control is what makes many people fear flying, but as Daniel reminded me; sure, you may not know the pilot, or the service history of the plane, or who built it – but the same can also be said for the bus, train or ferry you take for your daily commute.

Or what about the building you work in (assuming you do) – do you know the people who built it? Do you know how regularly checks are carried out to ensure its safety? And yet, you don’t spend your daily commute or your working day feeling like you’re not in control.

What we are in control of (most of the time) is the way we choose to react to certain scenarios. So I’ve been trying to couple my visions of a happy and safe arrival with attempts to feel more in control of my anxiety.

Unnecessary baggage

Stress and anxiety negatively impact our health both in the long and short term – and not just mentally.

A host of common physical ailments including headaches, digestive disorders, chest pain, and low libido can be caused by anxiety, as well as the risk of more serious conditions developing over time.

“Many people grow used to the uncomfortable feelings they are experiencing and take these as part of ‘normal’ life,” Australian author and former anxiety sufferer, Pauline McKinnon, tells us.

“Many people don’t in fact realise that their life could be better if they addressed issues that are concerning them. It’s long been known that ‘a problem shared is a problem halved’ – an old adage that carries much truth. Today of course, there are countless therapists from various disciplines to assist.”

She suggests meditation and exercise as great ways to combat stress and anxiety, as well as a healthy diet, breathing techniques and perseverance.

“One must have the desire to change, make the commitment to the decision/therapy/technique of choice, and persist with the therapy until results are apparent and then maintain that indefinitely for long term benefits.”

Suitcase or baggage with airport luggage trolley in the international airport.
There’s already enough baggage associated with flying. Photo: Getty

So, did Hypnosis cure fear of flying work?

Well, the jury’s still out. My first flight after trying hypnosis was the smoothest I’ve had in a very long time – both physically and emotionally – but I’m worried the lack of turbulence may be skewing the results.

Either way I felt much better, until I broke one of Daniel’s cardinal rules. Throughout our session, he kept reminding me not to talk about my fear of flying.

Whenever someone brings it up, change the subject, he said. And then I decided to sit down and write this article, and now I don’t feel so comfortable about taking to the skies again.

by Bianca Soldani

Published On Yahoo Lifestyle

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Mental Health in 21st Century
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Mental Health in 21stC

“We are all gifted with the ability to adapt – to literally change our minds” as quoted in In Stillness Conquer Fear, Pauline McKinnon, Garratt Publishing 2016 ed.

It’s not unusual for anyone to shift their opinion or idea or concept of their surroundings. And it’s not unusual for anyone to note that they’ve changed their mind – I guess we all do that quite regularly in greater and lesser degrees. That kind of shift or change of mind usually takes place as a logical shift or decision and yes, in favourable circumstances people can adapt accordingly.

The dictionary describes the ability to adapt as that of becoming accustomed to … getting a feel for … acclimatize to, adjust to, familiarize ourselves with – in short to ‘find our feet’ – and maybe that little English idiom simply sums the word up very neatly. But there’s more! Finding our feet does not always occur through the use of logic. Finding our feet can be extremely challenging, can be a terrifying prospect in certain circumstances and can also describe, albeit vaguely, the adaptation necessary in the desire to relieve or manage the effects of anxiety.

We are reminded daily how hundreds of millions of people throughout the world suffer from anxiety. Similarly, depression is rife, suicide (often unexpectedly) touches thousands of lives, violence has become a world-wide problem, physical pain (not uncommonly related to mental pain) holds many thousands to ransom. And then there is the powerful emotional pain and suffering surrounding loss and grief or is endured when trauma or illness invades people’s lives. All such reactions involve human mental health.

What is happening in society today to bring to light such widespread lack of mental health? And what can be set in place to truly supply a solution to this unacceptable community problem.

The essence of the problem is really that in truth, the modern and consumerist world is lacking contentment of spirit. Adaptation to life matters requires practical information, logical understanding and spiritual contentment – otherwise recognized as peace of mind.
As my followers know, through the publication of my own anxiety experience many years ago, I took courage and pioneered awareness of this level of mental health – also offering an effective solution.

From that outspoken act I continue the work of the late and great psychiatrist, Ainslie Meares, whose intellect, wisdom and medical knowledge introduced the practice of a particular style of meditation for mental health purposes. Meares’ powerful and world revolutionary book Relief Without Drugs changed millions of lives. From within his insightful teaching, people learned the art of mental rest and therefore, the art of adaptation to nourish and strengthen mental health – a natural therapy par excellence!

Today, meditation of many styles has captured the interest of the media and consequently, countless people are turning to similar practices.
In my view the true aim of meditation is to calm the mind and renew the spirit. For some, their practice of meditation is wholly related to philosophy or religion and that is excellent. Others practice other methods that perhaps are more suited to their personal belief system. My life’s work has been dedicated to the concept of ‘stillness’. Stillness Meditation as created by Meares is a form of therapy that induces mental rest. The practice of pure stillness is founded in the natural being and is taught for the purpose of experiencing less, not more, for a short time each day. The introduction of quiet!

What a magnificent idea given the constant ‘busy-ness’ that distracts so many today? What a wonderful way to foster the human ability to adapt to the challenges of living? The natural and simple practice of ‘stillness’ creates the perfect environment for allowing the mind the gift of true adaptation – to literally change in a manner that releases tension, reduces anxiety and facilitates resilience.

Meditation has the potential to transform lives. With less stress, less anxiety, less depression people become happier, more personally free and certainly more content. Greater fringe benefits from ‘stillness’ mean that pain can be managed with equilibrium – and may in time be barely noticed, immune function strengthens, physical health is better regulated and negative habits are overcome. And from this safe place, the power of emotional intelligence can reveal the ‘real’ person within and open the way for that calm and contented person to truly come alive.

All meditation, if committed to and sustained can be the premier solution to Mental Health in 21stC. I and my followers just happen to prefer the Meares style of Stillness Meditation Therapy. This is an important and, despite its long existence, lesser known work. We welcome your assistance in learning more about ‘stillness’ and in coming to this Centre to experience it. And if there’s anyone out there who would like to contribute in other ways to making a true and lasting difference to our troubled world of today, please make contact. Mental health in 21stC requires this!

Pauline McKinnon (c)
Melbourne, June 2019

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Find Your Natural Calm with Stillness Meditation

Stillness Meditation: How to Find Your Natural Calm

With many Australians turning to meditation as a form of stress relief, the practice has reached a mainstream audience in recent years. 

However, few may know that Aussies have developed their own form of meditation, free from spiritual or religious attachments.  

Pioneered by Melbourne psychiatrist Dr Ainsley Meares, “stillness meditation” is a medical-based therapy that has reached millions due to its simple approach and widespread accessibility. 

World renowned for his innovative ideas, Meares taught thousands of people how to find their own peaceful sense of quiet stillness during his lifetime. 

“The essence of his teaching is that we all have within ourselves the ability to find your natural calm, and know how to access that,” says practitioner Pauline McKinnon, who has been teaching stillness meditation for over 35 years, and has authored multiple books on the subject. 

“Stillness meditation is really a form of therapy, it’s medically based,” she tells Coach.

“It’s really the opposite to any other forms of meditation because it’s not strictly a technique, it’s about helping people to access their own inner strength.”

The difference between stillness meditation and other forms of the practice is the use of minimal sound, and complete detachment from cognitive function. 

“We don’t use words or instructions, just ‘murmured sounds’ for a few minutes to impart a sense of calm and letting go,” explained McKinnon. 

“So it’s not an imposed technique, it’s helping people to experience their own calm, their own silence, their own stillness, deeply within without putting in any other stuff like mantras or chanting or being mindful or any of those additions.” 

The practitioner-led practice also involves “calming touch”, which is used as a tool to create safety and security. 

“Touch is more powerful than words, it’s reassuring, and makes people feel safe,” explained McKinnon, who treats “all sorts of people”, from children through to the very elderly. 

“Mostly it’s because of general stress, too much anxiety and tension and the pressure of life,” she said. “I think we all recognise there’s a lot of pressure in the modern world.” 

While the practice of meditation has been around for centuries, McKinnon acknowledged that it’s often connected to traditional styles of philosophical and spiritual practice, or relegated to new age hippies. 

“A lot of people do still think it’s a bit left of centre, but this is a very practical, medical based, functional and natural practice,” she assured. 

“We’re very everyday people here, teaching a very profound, but everyday life skill.”

by Claire Knight

Published On Nine Life Coach

If you want to know more about how to find your natural calm, please get in touch

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Myths around anxiety
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Reframing the myths around anxiety

I was recently invited to comment on my personal experience of anxiety and the opportunity to bust some of the common myths surrounding this emotional reaction.

Not surprisingly, the most common myth of all – and one that deeply affects the individual – is that anxiety is a reaction that is rare, shameful and of course, embarrassing. When I experienced 8 years of debilitating anxiety many years ago, I was convinced that this ‘illness’ was terrifyingly rare, shameful because of my feelings of helplessness and so embarrassing that I couldn’t share this burden with anyone but those closest to me. As well as that, chronic anxiety is alarmingly ‘scary’ as the fatigued brain lurches from panic to depression and many shades of confusion in between.

Having been the first person in the world to write a book (In Stillness Conquer Fear) on my experience and with well over 30 years’ experience in assisting many similar sufferers, at the Stillness Meditation Therapy Centre, the connection I have with others travelling this emotional path is quite profound. My book remains a leading source of comfort and change since not only did I record my experience of anxiety, I have included very personal understanding of such suffering, advice on dealing with its impact and most of all, a powerfully effective way of overcoming this life limiting reaction.

As a therapist, drawing on one’s own life experience helps greatly in working with others as together we walk a path of companionship leading away from the fear-driven feelings and the apparently never-ending cycle of being lost, afraid, stuck in a quagmire of emotional pain.

Of course, today, society is getting better at talking about anxiety. Nevertheless, individual pain is just that … part of the individual journey … and hurtful or damaging myths can get in the way of change.

So here are some thoughts that may help dispel some of those myths:

1. Anxiety is rare
Anxiety is not rare; in fact, anxiety is common to all in varying degrees of experience. Acute anxiety affects one in three people during some stage of their life. It also affects both men and women. However, statistics show that women tend to present more often with anxiety than men. As I’ve noted in my book, women are likely more ready to seek help while men more likely attempt to tough it out in other ways.

2. Anxiety is just another form of stress
Anxiety and stress are two completely different things. Stress nearly always occurs due to a specific external situation. When the situation passes, so does the feeling of stress. Anxiety on the other hand cannot be solely attributed to an external situation. It is usually associated with stress – but is an emotion that reaches a point where one feels out of control and consumed by fear.

3. People with anxiety should avoid things that make them anxious
This is not the case. Avoidance unfortunately reinforces anxiety and can result long term in the full agoraphobic reaction with an ever-worsening anxiety as one’s constant companion. People who become anxious are usually temperamentally strong, sensitive and highly functional and they can, albeit with some difficulty, still achieve the things they need or want to achieve.

4. Medication is the best treatment for anxiety
This is an unfortunate assumption. While medication can be useful to help cope with anxiety symptoms, studies show that certain relaxing meditation practices, psychotherapy and for some, cognitive behavioural therapy have the advantage of assisting people to gain insight, personal understanding and self-empowerment; all of which bring far better results than medication. And there are dangers with medication: trial and error frequently occur with disastrous long-term results and for many, once commenced such medication may become a lifelong sentence that cannot be undone.

5. Panic attacks are just drama tantrums
Panic attacks are spontaneous, very real and cannot be deliberately constructed. To experience a full panic attack is alarming and occurs due to physiological and hormonal responses within the body as it aims to protect itself from a perceived highly threatening situation. Symptoms include dizziness, shortness of breath, chest pain, feelings of mental confusion, unreality and overwhelming fear. Many people who experience panic feel they are having a heart attack and find themselves rushed to emergency.

6. Panic attacks make you pass out or lose control
Passing out or fainting usually happens when a sudden drop in blood pressure occurs This does not necessarily happen during a panic attack. In fact, a panic attack usually activates an increase in heart rate and blood pressure. When panic occurs the sufferer rarely loses control but instead experiences an overwhelming fear of losing control which of course, sustains the panic reaction.

7. Deep breaths will make anxiety go away
Anxiety causes physical responses such as dizziness, loss of balance, nausea, increased heart rate and chest pain. Some people sweat profusely and even feel close to choking. In emergency, often people are recommended to breathe deeply into a brown paper bag to regulate breathing dysfunction. However, while such a recommendation might bring some temporary comfort, this action, of itself, is not a cure for chronic anxiety.

8. Anxiety is always related to sexual problems
This is another myth. Anxiety is largely about personal temperament, life conditioning and one’s perception of what’s happening within their life. As such, these elements of living can cross many thresholds and for some, sexual issues may be one of those thresholds. As with any emotional reaction, life experience is filled with many, many potentially anxiety producing incidents or challenges and rarely limited to one major cause.

9. Some people are more prone to anxiety
Anxiety can strike anyone at any time for no reason whatsoever. There is evidence however to suggest that heightened anxiety is hereditary and can be passed down through the genes. As mentioned earlier, temperament, conditioning and perception of life can all contribute to the individual’s response to life. But as with all living things, these influences are not set in concrete. People can learn, grow and change!

10. So you can just grow out of anxiety?
Sorry, not that kind of growth! Acute anxiety is a persistent emotional experience and is not something you ‘just grow out of’. In my experience the only way to effectively deal with anxiety – and truly grow – is through deep physical and mental relaxation – with the emphasis here on mental relaxation. When the mind is effectively rested, over time, equilibrium can be restored within the autonomic nervous system with the result that anxiety lessens, recurring symptoms decrease in intensity and personal confidence and self-knowledge gradually unfolds.

 

Real growth and personal change are what we like to see with our clients at this Centre. Anxiety is treatable – naturally – once we learn the way. People can live successful and fulfilled lives – even more enriched from having learned and grown because of anxiety.

The key is to acknowledge anxiety – without shame or embarrassment – and search for the right help to ensure recovery. At this Centre we offer experience, expertise and exceptional results with the aim of making a difference!

Pauline McKinnon (c)
Melbourne, May 2019

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High anxiety
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High Anxiety

On 30th March this year the Age Magazine, Good Weekend, published a spread titled just that – High Anxiety. The point of the article seems to be aimed at highlighting anxiety as a more recently discovered ‘mental health’ issue.

However, in this blog I’m going to be very bold and stake my claim! My story, first published in 1983 was, to the best of my knowledge, the first personal account of anxiety on the shelves in Western society. Titled In Stillness Conquer Fear, mine is a personal account of this kind of suffering but one that also offers a powerful, lasting and successful solution leading to life fulfilment.

With its most recent updated edition being published in 2016, my story has been published in Ireland, the UK and Poland, in the Polish mother tongue. That’s some claim to make and I am proud to have assisted thousands of people throughout the world through the telling of my story and my experience over 36 years as a therapist specializing in anxiety disorders.

My story relays the power of anxiety and how 8 years of my early life were limited by recurring panic attacks that led to agoraphobia, the overwhelming fear of leaving the safety of home. Despite the efforts of a range of medical experts, relief escaped me until almost by accident, I came upon the genius work of Melbourne psychiatrist, Ainslie Meares. It is to Meares’ work that I can attribute recovery for myself and for many others whom I’ve been privileged to assist.

By way of elaboration, here’s an extract from my story:

“It was as I was driving in rather heavy traffic that I suddenly experienced an unpleasant sensation of unreality – as if I was there, but I wasn’t there.

I felt a surge of alarm at this new experience. I remember vaguely thinking that perhaps I had not been concentrating very well on my driving, and almost wanted to pinch myself to see if I were dreaming.

This feeling of unreality is quite a common symptom surrounding the onset of an anxiety/panic attack. Unintentionally I most likely became more tense in an attempt to overcome that unpleasant feeling. I then realised that I was feeling extremely unwell. I was dizzy and nauseated, my head was pounding, my vision was blurred and my heart was thumping in my throat – and I was still driving the car. I managed to park and sat there for a few minutes, terribly aware of the fact that I was ill and away from home and I had two very young children with me.

By then, I was also feeling weak and faint, hot and cold and gasping for breath – hyperventilating, so I learned much later. This resulted in the unfortunate experience of paresthesias – a scary experience indeed, which begins with tingling in the fingertips gradually leading to numbness in the hands and limbs, and which, in my ignorance at that time, I thought was the sudden onset of paralysis. With all those dramatic sensations happening and the predicament of my little kids alone in the car, I was convinced that I was dying or certainly being stricken with some dreadful disease.

With the influence of recent sudden deaths and illness in our family flooding my mind, somehow I stumbled, panic stricken, into a shop nearby. All I could say was that I needed help, and quickly, as my head swam with dark patches of fading consciousness. I must also have been the colour of a sheet, for I certainly caused some agitation amongst the shopkeepers. I had alarmed them as well as myself, as they confirmed a couple of weeks later when I returned to say ‘thank you’.

I didn’t actually lose consciousness as some do in such circumstances, but my mind was swamped with panic and I was terrified. Panic is a word we have come to use fairly loosely in our vocabulary, but the real meaning of the word can only be appreciated by someone who has been through a complete panic attack. At that time what I was experiencing was a mystery to me — but I remember feeling threatened by a sense of urgency, and all my responsibilities seemed to crowd into my thoughts, in particular the wellbeing of my two little children. It was a sensational and very frightening experience and I felt, in my confusion, that if I wasn’t dying, I was about to lose control of my reason and actions.

Since being in control is a very important aspect of security in human nature, a panic attack is quite devastating. No one likes to feel threatened in any way, least of all to have their composure threatened. But when one feels threatened by something unidentifiable, it is doubly difficult to accept. I pictured myself in all that confusion, being removed from the scene with absolutely no control over the situation, even to the extent of being unable to communicate. In hindsight, a classic experience of loss of self”.

Dr Meares work and indeed his vision for mental and physical health is centred upon mental rest – known today as Stillness Meditation Therapy. This is what I learned from him; this is what I needed to learn in order to truly relax, to assist my brain to unlearn and relearn and to gain ease, confidence and over time, the insight necessary to live well.

And so it is frustrating at the very least, to read articles such as that in the Good Weekend where it seems anxiety as a social problem is only now really being addressed. It is frustrating that so many people are still victims of stress, fear, anxiety and accumulated tension while relying on medications that keep them trapped in dependence and often make matters worse. I feel very strongly that people deserve far better and, when finding the right path, are more than capable of negating the adverse influence of anxiety to become more wholly themselves.

If you appreciate the content of this blog, please pass it on to others. If you read this and identify with my understanding of anxiety, please make contact. My colleagues and I would truly love to assist.

Pauline McKinnon (c)
Melbourne, April 2019

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overcoming anxiety naturally
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Overcoming anxiety naturally and the courage to change

Autumn for me always brings with it a time of deep reflection. It seems fitting to ponder life with cooler evenings, to observe the many shades of falling leaves and to consider the changes of the past with the prospect of other changes as the coming year progresses. Throughout life, change is inevitable. Some change is perhaps unwelcome. Some change will be for the best, and some will be the magnificent fulfillment of dreams. But regardless of outcomes, change will always be accompanied by challenge, and challenge takes courage.

My work in helping people change is a constant privilege. How fortunate I feel to have learned the ability to assist others on their journey … learning from personal experience and learning from the experiences of others. Here, within the living of life, is where wisdom matures. And having walked the talk with a great many people I believe I can claim some wisdom and a level of expertise within the treatment we offer. And that thought brings me to more autumn ponderings.

It was the wisdom of the remarkable psychiatrist, Ainslie Meares MD (1910-1986) whose natural Stillness Meditation Therapy (SMT) enabled me to find freedom from my life-crippling anxiety and discover personal life transformation. From that life story I was able to set in motion the public recognition of anxiety and related disorders, and later, having accepted Meares’ baton, the purity of his work continues.

Within that journey of change (no doubt triggered by Meares’ work and the telling of my own story), in recent years an increased interest in meditation has encouraged others to focus on new ways to look at ‘what happens in our mind’. And yet popular statistics inform that one in nine Australians currently experience high or very high levels of anxiety! Clearly there is still much work to be done. The upcoming Royal Commission into Mental Health is timely since the need to constantly raise awareness surrounding these issues certainly must include anxiety. From information and education people can learn best where to turn for relevant diagnosis and how to choose the path most suitable to make their desired change.

With my associates at this Centre we unreservedly offer to anxiety sufferers the prospect of positive change. With a majority of our clients attesting to a 54% life improvement within their first SMT course, our results are consistently remarkable. But remarkable too, is the way of this work.

The dignified terminology for Stillness Meditation Therapy as coined by Dr Meares is mental ataraxis. This terminology is not some vague idealistic notion taken from meditative spiritual traditions. Mental ataraxis describes the development of Meares’ stillness meditation experience as absence of disturbance of the mind – a unique, physiologically based meditative state that is simple, natural and powerful.

Nonetheless, change cannot take place without mutual work taking place. While many people will find ready relief, some take far longer. As with any style of treatment or healing process, there are personal requirements necessary to aid the journey – especially those of commitment and perseverance.

As therapists, we can facilitate the Stillness experience and we can encourage and support each person’s journey – providing each person makes a commitment to the changes they seek. Without commitment the journey will halt or be significantly delayed. To commit to something means to persevere – in this case, attendance at regular, repeated therapeutic sessions and daily home practice. Without that level of perseverance, the body and mind – our nervous system in fact – will remain stuck in old habits. But commitment and perseverance also require one more important quality: courage. Desire without courage is not a truly passionate desire. Bring courage to the fore and with these three values in place, change is at hand.

Those who master anxiety by this means indirectly affirm the genius of Ainslie Meares’ own courage over many years’ advancement of this radical life-skill. It is courage indeed that brings the reward of calm confidence and the discovery of the real person within.

Pauline McKinnon (c)
Melbourne, March 2019

 

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meditation in the workplace Melbourne SMT Centre

Why meditation is the new secret weapon in the workplace

Pauline McKinnon meditation in the workplace

Melbourne based Pauline McKinnon has been a leader in the field of therapeutic meditation for 30 years.  As an author on the topic and psychotherapist, Pauline specialises in the Ainslie Meares’ natural style of meditation.  According to Pauline, also the founder of the Stillness Meditation centre in Kew, Victoria, the workplace is high on the scale of stress levels.  Within the general pace of life, high expectations, technology and related disruptions, competitive pressure and a range of other challenges, many workplaces are seeking skills to assist in managing these stress levels.  Meditation, if learned and practiced effectively, can be an ideal answer to workplace issues.

“Meditation is the skill of choice made by many organisations wanting to lower stress and support the wellbeing of their employees,” Pauline said today.

“And it’s well known that a range of significant businesses have already incorporated meditation into their staff wellness programs; companies such as Apple, Google, Proctor and Gamble and many more.

“Meditation is ideal because once learned, it is easy to implement, low cost and can be tailored for any workplace.  Staff can participate without having to change clothes or commit too much time and meditation can usually be undertaken conveniently for example, in a spare meeting room.”

Stillness Meditation, originated some 40 years ago by Australian psychiatrist Ainslie Meares, is Western style meditation and medically based.   It is also known as Stillness Meditation Therapy (SMT).  Unencumbered by spiritual or ritualistic traditions, SMT aims to reduce physical and mental tension and provide profound mental rest.  Within this practice, results demonstrate lowered blood pressure, anxiety reduction, stress management and a higher quality of life that leads to health and wellness.   SMT can be undertaken in any quiet place and doesn’t require special positions or chanting or focus of any kind.  With a significant history of Meares acclaimed work and supported by Pauline’s personal experience, books and teaching practice, this form of meditation is growing in popularity.   While anyone of any age can benefit from SMT, it is well suited across the corporate sector for its simplicity and ease of integration into life.

“All the research indicates that meditation in the workplace is an excellent way to help staff balance the weight of corporate responsibility with the need to be calm and effective communicators,” Pauline added.

“Setting up a program of meditation in the workplace is easy.   There are five simple steps:

 

–        Research meditation providers to find the most suitable for your needs as well as requirements for the best meditation experience within your workplace.

–        Undertake a one hour workshop with a chosen meditation provider to address staff and educate in the proposed technique and its potential benefits.

–        Commit to a series of sessions for individuals or groups.  Meditation requires persistence if benefits are to be realised.

–        Allocate a quiet room that provides the necessary facilities as discussed with the chosen provider.  It’s good to have a few ‘rules’ in place to ensure everyone understands the protocols involved, for example, respect for others, quiet entry, no talking, no phones, etc.

–        Be prepared to allocate two to three days per week on which a time for meditation can be integrated into the workplace.  As with any skill, practice makes perfect – and repetition of meditation is the key to success.

 

“Meditation is an excellent way to reduce stress levels across an organisation.  For lifetime benefits, ideally, employees will practice their meditation sessions out of office hours as well.

“We have helped many organisations implement Stillness Meditation programs.  The world needs a little more peace – corporate no less!    Once a style of meditation has been introduced and practiced, it takes little time to appreciate the value it provides to health and wellbeing – and the benefits may be felt almost immediately.”

Do you want to know more? Or want to book an appointment. Get in Touch

By Tess Sanders Lazarus

Published On Business Daily Media

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