Yes-No, No-Yes!

Indecision!  Must be one of the most debilitating emotional conditions we can find ourselves in.  And one that most of us face at one time or another.

Provided we are amongst the lucky ones who have all our basic needs met,  it is bewildering to think in retrospect how much time we spend trying to make up our minds about simple and mundane things – what to have for breakfast; what to wear; to go for a walk or not; what movie to see, etc, etc.  Usually, making a decision either way about any of these every day issues isn’t that significant.   And yet, we can get ourselves into a ‘state’, over-worrying and over thinking.

indecisionBut at times, we have to make big decisions.  Ones that will have a lasting impact on us, our families and our future.   To take up a new job offer, to purchase a new home, to end or begin a relationship, to have or not have children, to make a sea change, and many more;  all of which entail a myriad other scenarios and possibilities.

If you break it down to its basic core, the dilemma is usually about the fear of leaving the certainty and safety of what we know, for uncertainty and the unknown.  Some of it can be exciting; some present the perfect ingredients for nightmares!

If we can work ourselves into a state about what to wear to work, how can we cope with the big decisions?

There is no straight forward answer to that.  We are all different, we all face different situations, we all have our unique circumstances and considerations.  The common element is that the more stressed and anxious we are to begin with, the more difficult these decisions are. Confusion sets in, fear escalates and before we know it, we are ruminating about all sorts of disastrous outcomes.   We are on the yes-no spiral, which can render us immobile and paralysed with fear and indecision.

On the other hand, if we are more relaxed and calm generally, the unknown can seem more exciting; with a clearer mind, we can see potential and possibilities for good things as opposed to disasters; we can see ways to overcome any challenges.   And even everyday mundane decisions won’t be so problematic!

We don’t have to wait until we are stressed and anxious to practice being calm.  The same way we don’t wait to have tooth decay before we start brushing our teeth.   Practice being calm before you need to; that way decisions big or small can be handled with more ease.  Even when circumstances are difficult, we can get though it with less fear.

“It is clear that many of the causes of anxiety are with us, and there is really nothing we can do to escape them.  In these circumstances the mere fact of understanding the origin of our tension helps us to bear it.  We must understand it in the full sense of the word.  I do not mean that we have to know the technical psychological mechanisms involved.  In fact this is really little help …. What is required is a kind of philosophical understanding  – knowing the cause, together with a calm and easy acceptance of the situation”  Ainslie Meares, MD, Relief without Drugs

SMT sessions are held at our Centre in Kew every Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday at 11am and 7.30pm.  Please call 03 9817 2933 if you would like to book for your next session.

Lucy Louca ©
August 2015


New fully revised 30th Anniversary Edition of Pauline’s McKinnon's success story In Stillness Conquer Fear is now available

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